Failed Fairytales

Words pierced my heart like sharp knives, shards of glass
Leaving unhealed scars that turn into cracks
Little openings that allow boredom to seep
Like a slime monster oozing through the smallest openings
Unstoppable.
It comes rushing in like a tidal wave
Crushing every barricade I’ve tried so hard to build
Smothering all your words or maybe not so much smother as fill
Fills up the hollow echoes that ring in my mind
The promises you made, forgot and somehow left behind
Like old toys turned yellow and torn, like old photographs faded and worn
It seems these sentences you string together are strictly for immediate pleasure
Just instant gratification so I’ll smile and shut my face
And you can go on with your day in the blissful silence you so desperately crave
The blissful silence with iron fists that keeps on pushing me away
Brainwashed or innocent like a small child who so ardently believes
I think
Love means everything
And I guess I want my fairytale ending
So I continue to lap up every word you tell me
Like a thirsty dog on a hot day
I drink every word, every syllable and every sound that you make
Take it all to heart
Forgetting every beating, every time I fell apart
And just believe
So eagerly so naïve
Every promise gets stuck and it seems to pile up
Like refuse on the sidewalk, like falling Tetrus blocks
I’m being bricked in
I guess I must be hidden
Cause you just don’t seem to see it.
You ask me, please consider my feelings
Not knowing how hard I try to make you feel good
Not knowing I would literally give my soul
If it’s what you needed
And all I need are more kisses
But even that just became an empty promise
Another broken toy, another faded photograph
So I smile and try to laugh
If only to numb the pain, to silence the voices
That tell me why do you stay?
To silence the din of every idea entertained
For only a moment before you let it slip away
And now I feel insane
Just used and confused on a rollercoaster ride that seems to be broken
Or maybe just ending so there are no more ups left for me
I love you and you love me but if its everything
Then why do I still feel so lonely
Why do I miss you when you’re sitting right next to me?
Why do I cry and think what about me
And here comes the insanity
Am I just being selfish and needy?
Do these things really matter?
What gives it true meaning?
I want love to just set me free
But somehow I’m stuck repeating
Certain ideas, moments that may be fleeting
But still hurt.